Penchant , to fall.



Sometimes we cry, because things are not good. And this becomes such a usual custom, that when things fall into places finally after months and months of wait, you become so afraid , scared, astonished, for the good times, lest they might just blow away in a jiffy, they might just blur out in a micro second, so fast the sand will slide down from your hand, that your fingers wont be able to hold it back.So fast will the moments evaporate, that you won’t be able to confiscate them. You just can’t believe that you are surprised by life, your lost life. 
The rage within
The red eyes
The long held breath
You don’t want to miss it.
 The anger of your soul
The craving of your heart
The pining for things lost
You don;t want to miss it. 
When God comes near you in pain, 
When he gives you your soul in disdain,
When you love yourself through pride and shame
You don’t want to lose it. 
Things are good , they might be better
But somehow, they are not as good as your fetters
Fetters that kept you confined, yet you grew wild
And this independence, is nothing but a wind, so mild. 
You want the rage, you want the pain
Because that brings you closer to yourself,
You want the intoxicant loneliness,
You want unkempt, dishevelled life in a mess
You don’t want to lose it.
And then you sleep off, calling yourself one muddle, 
You don’t contemplate the change , so sudden. 
You want it back, knowing that it will crush you to pieces
You want it still, you want the cracks and the creases. 
You want them all, All and all.
“Ik baat honton tak hai jo aayi nahin
Bas ankhon say hai jhaankti
Tumse kabhi, mujhse kabhi
Kuch lafz hain woh maangti
Jinko pehanke honton tak aa jaaye woh
…Aawaaz ki baahon mein baahein daalke ithlaye woh
Lekin jo yeh ik baat hai
Ahsas hi ahsas hai”  _Znmd. 




Why is English so ‘classy’ ?

Have you ever wondered why is it that when we want to yell at someone , it is English that comes flowing out of our mouth in an attempt to win the argument? Why do I connect the two theories of English and Attitude, when I walk past a hot guy? And worst part, this notion is residing in my subconscious mind, and am hapless there. Why is it that our very own Bollywood songs are inviting this language into their lyrics, quite successfully and satisfactorily. Why is it important for my mother to learn to speak in English, because when she doesn’t , people outside talk to her the way THEY want to? And when I bombard my mind with these questions , I know very well that English is the universal language <God knows who made it one> and the thing goes on and on and on, but somewhere I still am not satisfied with this answer. Why is it that English is thought to be the decisive factor in determining whether I am ‘classy’ or not ? And ah. How can i forget to mention the quality of the English does NOT matter here , Speak the way i speak Spanish, Or a Spanish person speaks Mandarin , Or a Chinese speaks Hindi, It is your battlefield, and you are sure to win. Just speak in ENGLISH ! I remember eavesdropping a girl, while she was talking to her friend, in the metro <yes boredom devours me in metro , to this level> . As she continued talking to her friend overtly, in English, in a matter of time, i began to count the number of  the word ‘like’ every sentence of hers contained. Let me stretch my memory and share with you her conversation :

“So i went there and like sat there and the moment i got up like you know, there was this like huge kinda guy who like kept staring at me constantly, like you know, so like i stared back at him to kinda like  shoo him away , so like he kinda got the idea that i don’t appreciate him, so he got away and like i was so relieved like you know.”
Ah. I feel pity for her tongue for having to utter the same word every time.
Still , I bow down to her confidence for not giving up and still speak in English, , and yes, unconsciously a thought ran past my mind too, that she is ‘classy’ and adjectives related.
A lot has been said about it, a lot discussed, I have perhaps nothing more to add here. The scuffle between English and Hindi is never ending. Sure, am not favouring any language here, it’s all about the tags we attach to English . I remember while going to Andaman Islands on a family trip, our plane landed at Chennai and our next flight from there to the final destination was after 8 hours. Thus we ended up exploring Chennai, and it was a terrible idea for a person who doesn’t know an iota of their language. All the boards put up by the shopkeepers, had their shop name <I guess so !> written in their regional language in bold blue , yellow colours , and that was followed by the same translated into English , but in such a small font that one had to come close to the shop to read it. And such an irony exits, because we all know the literary rate down south as compared to the rest of the India, and still people prefer to put up boards in their tongue.And the auto-rickshaw drivers there , speak English for a utility purpose, while in Delhi, all they can do is “you come-you go-meter no working-i not going-i take 200 rupees from you”.
                    Though this article will be of no use after 10 years, when China would have successfully made Mandarin the world language ,still we need to get rid of these tags as soon as possible. If not, Kindly take the pains to read more and better your English, And try and shoot out your anger at someone in your mother tongue, <maybe then you’ll realise HOW DIFFICULT IT IS, like I realized>  .